i am fairly convinced that i have the greatest friends in the world.
they’re the kind of people that you walk by in the grocery store and you think, hmm they seem kinda fun. they’re the kind of people to come up to you out of nowhere and compliment you on your outfit. but most of all they’re the kind of people that you want to hold on so tight to and never let go.
and the good news, im finding, is you dont have to. because you know they’re the people that will be with you for the rest of your life, through the good and the bad, the laughs and the tears, the weddings and the funerals, the ups and the downs.
and, most importantly i think, they will be the people you call when you need to be reminded of who you are.
because thats the thing with these girls. its grass roots stuff. i dont exactly know how to explain it except for those roots go deep.
last night we were sitting at our d group (a time we gather once a week and chat about stuff, catch up, laugh A LOT, and usually eat some freaking yummy food) when the inevitable “it” conversation came up. “it” being the future.
now i dont know if you know this, but when youre a college senior, “it” brings a completely different rise of emotion out of you each time you talk about it… sometimes its excitement, but more often than not, that emotion is pure panic. i mean, lets get real, how the heck am i supposed to know what i want to do and who i am supposed to be and where i am supposed to go and how many kids i want to have and what my dream job is when i havent even DONE any of that yet?
hence, the panic.
so thats kind of what was happening. except we were also talking about our hopes and dreams for what comes next. if we could choose, lay our lives all out for ourselves, what would that look like? and even if we cant, what is just one thing, one hope, that we are holding onto for may 5, the day after our graduation, and those months soon to follow?
what followed those questions was something you write down in your journal or lock away in that spot of your mind where only special memories get to stay.
the answers were part of it, sure. but it was more than that. it was realizing how much we all have meant to each other and shared together over the past four years. four years filled with growth and change and hard times and good. four years of becoming adults together, and ultimately, becoming ourselves.
nobody else will know each one of us the way the others know each other. and that is something we will need to cling to as the years go on and new friendships come and life changes and things get hard.
because what you need most in those moment are deep roots. the grass ones. and thats what we are for each other. we’re the people who know each other at our best and at our worst. we know what each others biggest dreams and deepest fears and shoe sizes are. and we know it all at a time that is so raw and pure before we’ve had the chance to go out and do any of it yet. to do it in those shoes.
in living together for four years, we have built the most amazing family. we’ve built bonds we cant break. and just because we grow beyond the walls we’ve known doesnt mean we grow beyond each other. because thats the other thing i know, without a doubt… i know that i have found my “home team”.
you know, “the people who walk right in and help themselves to a glass of water in your house” or “who have seen you with and without your makeup on” or “know not just the pretty cry but the really really ugly one too”.
and for that, i am eternally grateful. there are some good parts to me i think. but what i know is there are some not good ones too. and i am so thankful that i have people in my life who celebrate me for all of it. and that will continue to as the years go on. i dont know what happens after graduation, but what i do know is that i am leaving with friends who have become family by my side to see me through it all.
friends that are the best grass around.